SUFFERING

SUFFERING

> I'd be interested in knowing when and what puts an end to your
>suffering.

So we are taught that suffering or its absence depends upon
conditions, mostly the survival of our body, and our loved ones, and our
survival assets.

If a person just starts to feel good out of the blue for no reason,
he might query how come the universe, which is so bad, has within it the
ability to feel good. But he also might just stop DOING anything as all
conditions on feeling good have been removed.

Otherwise a being feels good to the degree that he wins, and bad to
the degree that he loses, and since EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING dies one day
at least while in carnation, loss wins in the end.

An OT once recommended that when something bad happens to say "Oh
isn't this wonderful!"

Right, ok I understand it in theory, but to actually FEEL wonderful
while some loved one or thing is being skinned alive and put out to
become an ant farm would take a God who was so pan determined nothing
mattered to him except the existing state of the world no matter WHAT it
was.

One freezing cold Christmas eve many years ago, a little starving
black and white cat appeared in our bed room out of nowhere. She was so
skinny she looked like an Egyptian mummy and was probably only a few
days away from putting her head down in the cold snow for the last time.

We named her Mirabilis which is latin for miracle.

We fed her, put a radio collar on her, and I spent the next years
of my life chasing her down everywhere she went, because she would not
stay home for more than 4 days. She couldn't take the other cats in our
home and she didn't like the city.

On December 12th, 2012 Mirabilis was kit by a car and crushed to
death.

I spent 8 days looking for her to no avail until I found her body
almost by accident.

I held Mira's crushed body in my arms for hours, gave her a warm
bath, thawed her out after 8 cold days on the side of the road, felt the
cracks in her skull, looked into her popped eyes that used to bring me
so much joy, light, love and attitude, and her back end which was blown
open with guts hanging out like a turkey, and her legs badly smashed.
Who knows about the ribs or the rest of it.

And many hours later I kissed her goodbye as I put her body into
the ground for the last time, and covered it with earth.

So I am asked to feel 'This is wonderful'.

Yes, if I invited the loss into the game, and invited myself into
the game, and if I was a wonderful being, and the game was a wonderful
game, and Mira had invited herself into the same game with some
awareness of the consequences.

But who in their right might would invite themselves into a meat
grinder like a meat body in the physical universe?

So my sense of responsibility is negative, thus KRC and ARC are
negative.

That's called an ARC break with Source.

My tendency would be to say anyone walking around claiming to not
have an ARC break with Source is a liar, and in a different place and
time one might dream of testing their wisdom by nailing them to a cross
forthwith, let's see how close they are to their God now.

Maybe just run "How do you feel about your endless future?" until
the bullshit blows.

Now anyone can shrink down to a bubble that excludes everything he
doesn't want to know about, including all those beings unnecessary to
his survival, so he doesn't have to feel bad about THEIR bad conditions,
and in this way he can conclude the world is a fine place.

But he gets out of his body, and starts to see everyone else, and
how far does he have to go to see a murder, rape, torture or violent
death take place? Does this not bother him to tears and distraction?

They are HIS friends being taken out, even if he pretends to not
know them, is he really going to be able to put it all there with
wonderfulness?

There is an inner radius of murder, we call it, it is the size of a
sphere centered around any thetan inside of which a murder is taking
place. How far out do you have to go to find your first murder going
on?

The outer radius of murder is the size of sphere inside of which at
least one murder is ALWAYS taking place.

How big does a thetan have to get before he dares not get any
bigger?

Being in a body is nice, it has an awareness radius of 300 feet,
and anything out side of that isn't its problem. Until it becomes a
problem when the murder and mayhem come inside his radius of awareness.

Hubbard tells us that anchor points are those things we use to make
space, but then falls far short in going into detail about them.

Any communication terminal acts as an anchor point, one's body,
one's parents, one's siblings, one's friends, one's acquaintances, one's
locations of doing business, one's customers, clients and vendors.

Anything loved or detested.

Anywhere that pro survival two way communication or fair chosen
exchange takes place is a positive anchor point that creates space for
you because you have to create and operate across that space to gain
your survival benefit from it and to give in return.

Anything or anywhere that is dangerous to your survival or that of
your loved ones is a negative anchor point.

Anchor points also exist in time, there are temporal anchor points,
trivial ones like when you were born or graduated, but you have them all
up and down the time track way into the past and future, where you plan
to engage in a transaction with your spatial anchor points!

An important business meeting forms a temporal anchor point,
looking forward to visiting our friends or grandmother or anyone loved
forms temporal anchor points in the future. We call them appointments
in our appointment book.

We have a future worth looking forward to because we continue to
put temporal anchor points out there to look forward to them

If you lose a customer to a competitor, then that customer anchor
point goes away, and every time you drive by their location that's one
more place you DO NOT have.

Your space gets smaller, as that will be one more place you won't
be going to, and the competitor becomes a negative anchor point that
makes you feel bad every time you go near them, in mind or in matter.

When you lose a positive anchor point, just that many slots in your
appointment book of the future become empty, as you won't be going there
to fix their system any more, talking to their billing department to get
paid, or consulting with them to see how things could be better.

I saw Mira every day FOR YEARS, hunted her down by radio collar and
fed her. She was always in a different place, HER space was about 2
miles on a side, she took me into forests, mountain ways, alongside
rivers, into holes in the ground where NO ONE ever goes. My appointment
book was full with her beingness, and my space was full of all the
myriad locations she had been and might be which I had to keep track of
in order to find her dependably.

Then one day no signal. I looked and I looked and looked, hundreds
of places she had been or might be, hoping the radio collar had merely
gone dead. That was murder on my body, because of the constant effort
to get out and to remote view.

I started to go crazy from the idea that I would never find her,
never know if she was alive or dead, whether she needed help, why she
had left, or if she had suffered long and hard before dying.

*THAT* is crazifying, to never know.

Out of serendipity, total chance, a friend tells me she would help
find the cat if I needed it. This was day 8. I took her to the general
area Mira lived in at the time, and again out of serendipity, total
chance, I asked someone working in a garage there if they had seen a
cat. First guy said no, second guy comes out of the back who had
overheard our conversation and says he had seen a dead one on the road
coming to work about a week back.

What did I feel? Wonderfulness?

Well there were lots of cats in the area, it could have been any
cat.

I went to the area he indicated to look for her, and as I was
walking up the side of the road I found the radio collar smashed to
pieces.

What did I feel? Wonderfulness?

Can you feel what I felt?

I walked over to the other side of the road and there she was under
a bush where someone had kindly gotten out of their car to remove her
from the road.

What did I feel? Wonderfulness?

Was I able to 'put it there', the universe and everything in it as
it was?

At that moment my time track collapsed as my appointment book went
empty. I lost a HUGE number of spatial anchor points, thousands of them
as places I would no longer have any reason to visit. Or if I did pass
by them, HUNDREDS of images of the days when I had found her there,
coming out running towards me, or sitting in the sunset basking during
wine and cheese time.

These anchor points, once positive, turn to negative anchor points,
they no longer provider prosurvival benefit, but they are still dressed
with the feelings of older times.

I can run it out, but then I start forgetting about Mira, she
becomes like something that never happened, I fail to notice how much
smaller my spacetime and operating arena have become.

I continue on as if nothing happened.

It is hard to get things, it is all too easy to lose them.

I am good at running out present time 'injuries' to my survival, I
been doing it for years as I lost my parents, lost all our big lightlink
customers one by one, and will eventually lose all my remaining cats and
Jane and finally my own body.

Or I let it come over me again and again during the day, or the
middle of the night, or when I am just done and tired with playing the
game "How you doing? Fine thank you."

I am not doing fine, and I haven't been doing fine for an awful god
damn long while, and I don't see how anyone is, except those too numb to
notice there are no tracks up ahead somewhere in their life of forward
motion.

* LIFE IS LOSS *

Let those scoff who whistle past the graveyard.

Or at least all start-change-stop cycles end in stop.

One might create new ones, but never like the ones that were lost.
Precious and unique, no matter how many cats there are in the world, any
relationship between beings is precious and unique even if there are an
infinity of them.

What do we do, just run them out and forget them as if they never
happened?

Time doesn't heal, time BURIES.

But we can run them out so they heal, but what becomes of us?

Maybe I don't want to heal, maybe I need to be reminded that there
is something wrong with this world of Sabe (impermanence), and that the
world of Dura (realm of permanence) escapes me. I feel comfortable
suffering, more human, because even though the world of non suffering is
God like, it is also alien, and I have no recognizance of what it is
like, OR WHAT IT MIGHT DO, nor any sense or awareness of responsibility
or choice to leave the sovereign state to enter this state of despair.

Where are unfun games covered under the fun games?

Homer

Fri Jan 11 10:24:47 EST 2013

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Wilson Smith Clean Air, Clear Water, Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959 A Green Earth, and Peace, Internet, Ithaca NY
homer@lightlink.com Is that too much to ask? http://www.lightlink.com