Wednesday, October 25, 2017

NO GOING BACK

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THERE IS NO GOING BACK.

I AM NO LONGER WILLING NOR ABLE TO ENGAGE IN RECEIVING AUDITING UNLESS I =
KNOW BEFORE HAND THAT IT WILL WORK AND PRODUCE GAINS WORTH THE PRICE I =
AM PAYING FOR IT.

THE WORST PART OF FLAG AND BEING AUDITED BY THEIR TOP LEVEL CLASS =
WHATEVERS, WAS THE MORE AUDITING I RECEIVED THE LESS I WANTED TO BE ABLE =
TO DO WHAT THEY WERE DOING, DUE TO THE NEGATIVE RETURN ON INVESTMENT =
THAT WAS TAKING PLACE. I MEAN CHRIST HOW MUCH MONEY CAN YOU THROW AT A =
STOCK THAT IS GOING DOWN JUST TO WATCH IT CONTINUE TO GO DOWN FURTHER =
AND THROW MORE MONEY AT IT? AM I AM GOING TO OFFER THE SAME TO MY =
PRECLEARS?

THE ORG AT $300/INTENSIVE SENT ME TO FLAG DUE TO NO CASE GAIN AT THE =
ORG. AT $6000/INTENSIVE AT FLAG I LOST ALL HOPE FOR CASE GAIN AND A =
FUTURE.

I WAS STIFF UPPER LIP-ING IT, BUT TALK ABOUT AN EMOTIONAL CURVE: FROM =
THE FIRST MOMENT OF DISCOVERING SCIENTOLOGY TO LEAVING IN DESPAIR.

I PAID HOW MUCH FOR A LIFE REPAIR, AND SPENT HOW MANY HOURS ON IT, ONLY =
TO RESCIND MY FALSE ATTEST. IT SEEMED RIGHT FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES. BUT =
THEN WHAM INTO THE WALL AT 1000 MILES AN HOUR. BOY THE ORG DIDN'T LIKE =
THAT, BUT IF I HADN'T RESCINDED MY ATTEST I WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE =
TO LIVE WITH THE DECEIT. SO I WALKED AWAY WITH NOTHING, AND I DID IT =
AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH IDIOTS IN THE FREEZONE TOO. JESUS CHRIST I SIMPLY =
NEVER LEARN.

I REMEMBER THE EXACT MOMENT AT FLAG,, THE EXACT TAPE I WAS LISTENING TO =
WHEN I SAID, SCREW THIS, I CAN DO THIS MYSELF, I DON'T NEED ALL THESE =
NAZI SHIT HEADS TO MAKE ME WRONG ABOUT BEING A NCG. HEY I CAN DO THAT =
MYSELF!

BUT I *KNEW* I COULD SOLO IT FROM THERE ON OUT.

MY PRIMARY ERROR AT THE TIME WAS UNDERESTIMATING THE ENORMITY OF CASE IN =
GENERAL AND MINE IN PARTICULAR. MOST OF THE THOUSANDS OF SOLO HOURS I =
PUT INTO MY LIFE AFTER FLAG WENT INTO GETTING REAL ON HOW BIG THE CHARGE =
IS.

AND HOW BIG *i* WAS. JESUS I AM SCARY.

AT SOME POINT ALONG THE WAY I LOST MOST OF MY HATRED FOR THE ORG AND =
FLAG BECAUSE *THEY DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE" WITH ME, NOT A CHANCE. GOING =
CLEAR WITH THEM WAS AN ABSURD PROPOSIITION OUT OF THE GATE BUT I HAD NO =
REALITY AT THE TIME ABUT ME OR THEM. I CAN AT LEAST GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR =
HAVING TRIED THEY BEST THEY COULD, BUT I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING.

ANYONE WITH A CERT OR AN AWARD ON HIS WALL JUST SIMPLY IS NOT WORTH =
TALKING TO.

AWARDS AND CERTS SIMPLY GIVE THE PERSON THE DELUSION HE KNOWS SOMETHING =
IMPORTANT. ONE DOESN'T AWARD PEOPLE FOR SALVATION OF THE ETERNAL SOUL =
FROM RUIN.

I AM SORRY BUT ONE PRODUCES ROBOTS ON A FACTORY LINE, ONE DOES NOT =
PRODUCE FREE BEINGS.

NOT LIKE WHAT I AM LOOKING AT.

A LITTLE AMOUNT OF HUMILITY GOES A LONG WAYS WHEN IT COMES TO DELIVERING =
ETERNAL FREEDOM FOR REAL TO SOMEONE AND ACTUALLY ARRIVING THERE.

THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES ALONG THE WAY, AND SO YEAH HOW TO PAY FOR =
SOMETHING WITH NO GUARANTEES IS A PROBLEM STILL TO BE RESOLVED FOR ME. =
WHEN I PAY FOR HELP, I EXPECTED TO BE HELPED NOT HARMED, DRAINED OR BLED =
OUT, AND I EXPECT AN AUDITOR WHO CAN TAKE WHAT I SAY TO THEM AND NOT DIE =
THE NEXT DAY IN THEIR FUCKING SLEEP. AND IF I CHOSE TO HELP MYSELF, I =
EXPECT THEM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEARN SOMETHING FROM ME,FOR THEIR =
CERTS AND AWARDS ARE BUT DUST IN THE WIND.COMPARED TO WHERE THEY WILL =
ONE DAY WANT TO GO TOO ONCE THEY GET THE BALLS TO ADMIT WHO AND WHAT =
THEY ARE IN ETERNITY.

THERE IS JUST IS NO CERT NOR AWARD FOR THAT ABILITY GAINED, AS HUBRIS, =
VANITY, ARROGANCE AND CONCEIT CAN NOT SURVIVE THE TRANSITION TO =
ETERNALITY.

HUMILIATION IS FINITE OPERATING PRIDE
HUMILITY IS INFINITE OPERATING PRIDE.=20
VANITY IS INFINITE OPERATING PRIDE WASTING AWAY
FROM ARROGANCE AND CONCEIT. - ADORE.COM

HOMER

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<DIV><FONT size=3D2 face=3DArial>post homer imissmira adore</FONT></DIV>
<DIV>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 0px 0px 6px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">THERE=20
IS NO GOING BACK.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">I=20
AM NO LONGER WILLING NOR ABLE TO ENGAGE IN RECEIVING AUDITING UNLESS I =
KNOW=20
BEFORE HAND THAT IT WILL WORK AND PRODUCE GAINS WORTH THE PRICE I AM =
PAYING FOR=20
IT.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">THE=20
WORST PART OF FLAG AND BEING AUDITED BY THEIR TOP LEVEL CLASS WHATEVERS, =
WAS THE=20
MORE AUDITING I RECEIVED THE LESS I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT THEY =
WERE=20
DOING, DUE TO THE NEGATIVE RETURN ON INVESTMENT THAT WAS TAKING PLACE. I =
MEAN=20
CHRIST HOW MUCH MONEY CAN YOU THROW AT A STOCK THAT IS GOING DOWN JUST =
TO WATCH=20
IT CONTINUE TO GO DOWN FURTHER AND THROW MORE MONEY AT IT? AM I AM GOING =
TO=20
OFFER THE SAME TO MY PRECLEARS?</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">THE=20
ORG AT $300/INTENSIVE SENT ME TO FLAG DUE TO NO CASE GAIN AT THE ORG. AT =

$6000/INTENSIVE AT FLAG I LOST ALL HOPE FOR CASE GAIN AND A FUTURE.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">I=20
WAS STIFF UPPER LIP-ING IT, BUT TALK ABOUT AN EMOTIONAL CURVE: FROM THE =
FIRST=20
MOMENT OF DISCOVERING SCIENTOLOGY TO LEAVING IN DESPAIR.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">I=20
PAID HOW MUCH FOR A LIFE REPAIR, AND SPENT HOW MANY HOURS ON IT, ONLY TO =
RESCIND=20
MY FALSE ATTEST. IT SEEMED RIGHT FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES. BUT THEN WHAM =
INTO THE=20
WALL AT 1000 MILES AN HOUR. BOY THE ORG DIDN'T LIKE THAT, BUT IF I =
HADN'T=20
RESCINDED MY ATTEST I WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO LIVE WITH THE =
DECEIT. SO I=20
WALKED AWAY WITH NOTHING, AND I DID IT AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH IDIOTS IN =
THE=20
FREEZONE TOO. JESUS CHRIST I SIMPLY NEVER LEARN.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">I=20
REMEMBER THE EXACT MOMENT AT FLAG,, THE EXACT TAPE I WAS LISTENING TO =
WHEN I=20
SAID, SCREW THIS, I CAN DO THIS MYSELF, I DON'T NEED ALL THESE NAZI SHIT =
HEADS=20
TO MAKE ME WRONG ABOUT BEING A NCG. HEY I CAN DO THAT MYSELF!</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">BUT=20
I *KNEW* I COULD SOLO IT FROM THERE ON OUT.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">MY=20
PRIMARY ERROR AT THE TIME WAS UNDERESTIMATING THE ENORMITY OF CASE IN =
GENERAL=20
AND MINE IN PARTICULAR. MOST OF THE THOUSANDS OF SOLO HOURS I PUT INTO =
MY LIFE=20
AFTER FLAG WENT INTO GETTING REAL ON HOW BIG THE CHARGE IS.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">AND=20
HOW BIG *i* WAS. JESUS I AM SCARY.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">AT=20
SOME POINT ALONG THE WAY I LOST MOST OF MY HATRED FOR THE ORG AND FLAG =
BECAUSE=20
*THEY DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE" WITH ME, NOT A CHANCE. GOING CLEAR WITH =
THEM WAS AN=20
ABSURD PROPOSIITION OUT OF THE GATE BUT I HAD NO REALITY AT THE TIME =
ABUT ME OR=20
THEM. I CAN AT LEAST GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR HAVING TRIED THEY BEST THEY =
COULD, BUT=20
I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">ANYONE=20
WITH A CERT OR AN AWARD ON HIS WALL JUST SIMPLY IS NOT WORTH TALKING =
TO.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">AWARDS=20
AND CERTS SIMPLY GIVE THE PERSON THE DELUSION HE KNOWS SOMETHING =
IMPORTANT. ONE=20
DOESN'T AWARD PEOPLE FOR SALVATION OF THE ETERNAL SOUL FROM RUIN.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">I=20
AM SORRY BUT ONE PRODUCES ROBOTS ON A FACTORY LINE, ONE DOES NOT PRODUCE =
FREE=20
BEINGS.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">NOT=20
LIKE WHAT I AM LOOKING AT.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">A=20
LITTLE AMOUNT OF HUMILITY GOES A LONG WAYS WHEN IT COMES TO DELIVERING =
ETERNAL=20
FREEDOM FOR REAL TO SOMEONE AND ACTUALLY ARRIVING THERE.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">THERE=20
ARE NO GUARANTEES ALONG THE WAY, AND SO YEAH HOW TO PAY FOR SOMETHING =
WITH NO=20
GUARANTEES IS A PROBLEM STILL TO BE RESOLVED FOR ME. WHEN I PAY FOR =
HELP, I=20
EXPECTED TO BE HELPED NOT HARMED, DRAINED OR BLED OUT, AND I EXPECT AN =
AUDITOR=20
WHO CAN TAKE WHAT I SAY TO THEM AND NOT DIE THE NEXT DAY IN THEIR =
FUCKING SLEEP.=20
AND IF I CHOSE TO HELP MYSELF, I EXPECT THEM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND =
LEARN=20
SOMETHING FROM ME,FOR THEIR CERTS AND AWARDS ARE BUT DUST IN THE =
WIND.COMPARED=20
TO WHERE THEY WILL ONE DAY WANT TO GO TOO ONCE THEY GET THE BALLS TO =
ADMIT WHO=20
AND WHAT THEY ARE IN ETERNITY.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">THERE=20
IS JUST IS NO CERT NOR AWARD FOR THAT ABILITY GAINED, AS HUBRIS, VANITY, =

ARROGANCE AND CONCEIT CAN NOT SURVIVE THE TRANSITION TO ETERNALITY.</P>
<P=20
style=3D"WIDOWS: 1; TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: =
rgb(255,255,255); TEXT-INDENT: 0px; MARGIN: 6px 0px; FONT: 14px/19px =
Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: =
normal; COLOR: rgb(29,33,41); WORD-SPACING: 0px; =
- -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">HUMILIATION=20
IS FINITE OPERATING PRIDE<BR>HUMILITY IS INFINITE OPERATING PRIDE.<SPAN=20
class=3DApple-converted-space>&nbsp;</SPAN><BR>VANITY IS INFINITE =
OPERATING PRIDE=20
WASTING AWAY<BR>FROM ARROGANCE AND CONCEIT. -<SPAN=20
class=3DApple-converted-space>&nbsp;</SPAN><A=20
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======================= http://www.clearing.org ========================
Posted: Wed Oct 25 00:38:45 EDT 2017
ftp://ftp.lightlink.com/pub/archive/homer/ador1040.memo
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================== http://www.lightlink.com/theproof ===================
Learning implies Learning with Certainty or Learning without Certainty.
Learning across a Distance implies Learning by Being an Effect.
Learning by Being an Effect implies Learning without Certainty.
Therefore, Learning with Certainty implies Learning but
Not by Being an Effect, and not across a Distance.

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