You got wife and kids?
I still have Jane, no kids, too sick to consider it, but I still
have lightlink. Lightlink however is a ship whose deck is level with
the sea.
It won't sink tomorrow, but 5 years from now, well they tell me I
ought to sell now, but its worth very little.
Anyhow the somatic condition I am in is related directly to doing
the wrong thing in life, at least I think it is.
Thus I spend most of my auditing time considering what I should be
doing, or should have been doing etc.
I tend to be an entrepreneur, I can't program for other's stupid
purposes, man do I hate that, been there, done that and never ever going
back to it unless they pay me in pot, speed, acid and cocaine, and we
are working on saving the planet from an asteroid collision.
Just like there is some social stature to being a starving artist,
there is some similar stature to being a starving entrepreneur. Only
entrepreneurs recognize it though :)
But for me part of the 'somatic' condition is an inability to
conceive of what's next, everything in my life has just sort of 'fallen'
into my hands including lightlink.
I had money from inheritances, did a lot of drug testing with it,
made a lot of fractals (never got paid a penny by Cornell for that but I
had free roam of their superpooters for years,) and eventually started
lightlink, but financial net worth was always going down down down.
For once in my life I would like to produce more than I consume in
a very straight forward taxable way, and one that is stable and secure.
I measure my respect by the taxes that I pay.
I spend a lot of time reading books on startups, and those that
made it ('Founders at Work' amazing book, makes me want to kill myself
now).
There were these two guys who started a company, they invested a
year of rent and time into an office and white boards and a few
computers, and they went to work every day, and their job was to figure
out what their job was.
It took them a year, but they finally came up with a product that
made them millions. It's in the book.
Something makes me want to just let it all go and send out a
promotion piece to the top 10000 companies on the planet, saying:
"Do you have a problem?
Let us solve it for you.
It will cost you, but you only pay if we do."
What kind of problems you might ask, hell if I know, that's the
point, I keep looking at what I know, its what I don't know that's
escaping me. I may have no clue how to solve the problems they send in,
but they have no clue what the solutions are, so we are on even
territory there, and if I know enough people perhaps I can get
solutions, and cut them in for a percentage etc.
That's desperate, but its a generic promote ala Hubbard.
Basically as a startup, we are in non existence in the ethics
conditions, and the ethics formula is promote, promote, promote.
But what can a person promote?
Well what do others want?
They want their damn problems solved, tech problems, human problems,
life problems, performance problems, even religious problems etc.
As an auditor I keep thinking, they want to know how long they are
going to spend in hell after they die, and what to do about it now to
lessen it.
That's worth $10,000?
But I haven't solved it for myself yet, so physician heal thyself!
As for all these other problems, *I* may not know the answers, but
perhaps with a few balls and chutzpah, I can get some of these problems
delineated, and perhaps find a market for my skills, or my ability to
bring other's skills to bear on the problem.
Hell think of all the people I would meet who have problems, and
who have solutions to those problems.
We don't charge by the hour, we charge by the problem solved,
negotiated up front while the problem is being laid out.
$10,000 or $100,000 for a solved problem is nothing to a major corp
that is losing money, worry or life over it year after year.
Sound crazy? I hope so, isn't the End Phenomneon of grade IV
auditing 'ability to move out of fixed conditions and do crazy new
things?'
Anyhow we probably cleared $300 on $400,000 in 2010, and that
doesn't include $50,000 in depreciation losses.
At least Jane and I got paid enough for food and shelter for
ourselves and 6 cats.
Our board tells me we should go on food stamps at a minimum, since
a lot of our $24,000/year each goes back into the business. If our
competition can get granted $25,000,000 in federal grants for internet
deployment, I can get granted a few hundred hamburgers a year to keep
breathing. (Competition didn't get the grant... there is no future in
grants.)
It's when the board starts talking permanent disability that I
begin to get worried. (I need crystal clean air 24x7 or I start dying).
So wear galoshes if you are going out on the deck of this ship.
But our greatest problem right now is the wreckages of other
people's ships all over the place in this economy. People can't afford
high speed internet, not in the boonies where we are the only presence.
Not even in town where the BIG companies are 3 months late.
But if they don't pay us, we can't pay ours, and suddenly everyone
is treatening to cut us off, even the phone company, one day late we
were.
So we are doing just fine thank you, except for this stupid case
crap that has me tied down in razor blades 24x7, and the bugs and babes
that crawl all over my dreams at night. Actually they are a welcome
relief, the babes are getting outrageous and friendly too boot, and
there is an endless number of them, not just 72 with mustaches and
veils.
Can you imagine an infinite number of sexy beautiful intelligent
friendly friends?
You know I am a pretty dangerous individual, if I just knew what I
was supposed to be doing, if I could just get some marching orders that
would make me feel GOOD instead of rotten to the core, I would put on my
suicide mission suit and head for the target.
I ain't into killing with bombs, but killing with ideas seems like
its time has come.
I know I like to hide behind being a 'scholar', but down deep I am
a soldier, warrior, and I *KNOW* there's a war on here somewhere that I
ought to be fighting.
I just can't find the war :)
Homer
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Wilson Smith The Paths of Lovers Art Matrix - Lightlink
(607) 277-0959 KC2ITF Cross Internet Access, Ithaca NY
homer@lightlink.com In the Line of Duty http://www.lightlink.com
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